Funny and Humorous Classroom Jokes !!!

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of- bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.

Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $40 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $90. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $200. Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "How much for a season pass?"

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An instructor was sitting in his office one afternoon when an attractive, sexy-looking lady knocked on his door.

Yes?, he replied, how may I help you? The lady said "I need to talk to you about my grade in your class."

"Come in and have a seat," said the instructor.

Is there anything I can do to get an "A" in your class?

"What do you mean by 'anything'," he replied.

She said "Anything!"

Anything??

She said, in her best sultry voice "I mean ANYTHING."

The instructor got up from behind his desk, sat down beside her and whispered in her ear, "Would you study?"

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TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?

STUDENT: Seven.

TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?

STUDENT: Nine.

TEACHER: That's impossible.

STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.

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TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?

STUDENT: Yes, Sir.

TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?

STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.